Imagine for a moment your son or daughter coming home after school with slight rip in their shirt or a scrape on their arm they just don't want to talk about. As you continue to ask your child about what happened they become more defensive and you can tell that their story is just not adding up.
Now picture the scene in on the playground or in the hallway. Your child scared, with tears in their eyes waiting for this moment to be over. Your child, too scared to yell for help or stand up for themselves in fear of more repercussions from their bully. Your child standing against the wall with a bloody nose, books thrown on the floor and an expression of humiliation as they look around to see classmates watching.
The Martial Arts can help instill in children the ability to stand up for themselves. This doesn't mean fighting back or hurting an individual. What the Martial Arts can do is give a child the self confidense to ask for help or tell their bully to stop.
Learning Martial Arts challenges children and adults both mentally and physically and through that adversity teaches people that they can do the same in everyday situations. It instills the "never give up attitude" and helps people see that they can do things they might not have thought possible. The Martial Arts gives people in adverse situations the knowledge that they have the ability to make a bad situation manageable.
Is there a title? The thesis was clearly stated in the first and second sentence. I liked that martial arts gives you confidence and never really looked at it that way before, but always in the way of violence and self defense. It instills the "never give up attitude". I really liked this sentence because it conveys the topic you are talking about completely. In the second to the last paragraph I found this spelling error (confidense) , otherwise I did not find any more. I enjoyed reading this essay, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteCool topic to write on. This was a easy writing to follow. I like how you gave main supporting details examples in your main paragraph (2 and 3). I didn't see any typo except for that same one that Cheyenne found. Good job.
ReplyDeleteI like the topic, it was informative. You asked me to imagine my son and I instantly did. Your thesis was clear and essay structure was good as well.
ReplyDeletei think everyone can relate to this essay in some way. i think this was very well written. you picked a great subject to talk about and i didn't find any spelling errors
ReplyDeleteI knew what your story was about in the first sentence. I do agree with you that Martial arts teaches more than fighting, as in self esteem, which is good for all children. I mean bullying is all around us these days, and I do think children should stand up for themselves. I mean I don't want my children to be beating up on people all day, but I don't want them to be getting bullied either. You make a very good point in your story.
ReplyDeleteI like that you bring the reader in by making them think about a personal matter. You stayed on topic very well and didn't veer off into any other facets of the sport which made your piece very clear and easy to read. A little repetitive using the term martial arts several times in the intro, maybe they or them instead? Interesting,persuasive, and well written!
ReplyDeleteVery nice post. most people have a misconception about what martial arts is actually about. I like that you make a point to bring up bullying and how it is used for confidence and self defense. nice job thank you
ReplyDeleteI agree, wholeheartedly. I admit that I didn't really know what we had signed up for 4 and a half years ago. I signed my son up for Little Dragons with the same level of scrutiny of any other Y class. But what we've received is something far more than I could have expected. My youngest is about to start and I'm hopeful he takes to martial arts. Regardless, I see it as something akin to swimming. Whether you like it or not, it's good to know as a life-skill.
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